My Mind as an Oscillating Pendulum

As I mentioned in my previous blog, I used to be a blogger back in 2003. Naturally, after tweaking around on my current blog for HOURS... I went searching for my old account. It was probably one of the easiest scooping and searching I have EVER had to do. My account name was so predictable, it made me laugh. The content however, was not so easy for me to gulp down. I felt like I was reading a stranger's blog. I used to want two children, a girl and a boy. In one particular blog, I had shared with the world...what I wanted to name the girl: Neveah Penelope Tia Lataya, and the boy: Nathan Tyler Sebastian Deangelo. REALLY?? like...REALLY??????? Who is this person?? The diction used is literally FOUL ! Some of the wo

rds constantly incorporated within the blog include: ma (ie. My), dem (them), dat (that), bou (about), thang (thing), must I really go on? Filthiness upon foulness...Oh the shame. Obviously I blocked those accounts so no one would

EVER have access to them =)

I thought the diction was bad and as I was trying to come in terms with the amount of junk written, I came across a shared wishlist. The number one item on the wishlist was, "get an MD". My face inherently lit up and I became a bit more confident about this child that I was reading about. My dreams were once again shattered, as I found out that M.D. didn't stand for "Medicinae Doctor" (Doctor of Medicine), but rather some random piece of technology that was popular at the time (basically an mp3 player...and I'm not mentioning what it's actually called, because I honestly don't remember)..... FAIL !!!!!!!!!!! I clearly was not thinking about my future...

I start to think about my childhood or teenage years to be more correct. I have no recollection of 70% of the things mentioned on that blog. I always knew I had a very selective memory ( I am incredibly good at repressing memories yay ! lol), but I couldn't figure out why I would repress part of my teenage years. Why was I so embarrassed of who I was as a teen? Shouldn't I be proud that I've made a 180 degrees turn? Am I really going to look back at this blog in 7 years and once again be embarrassed? I hope not...

Also, I have made a mini progress...sort of.... I didn't sleep at all last night, so that I could go to bed early and perhaps put a final end to this insomniac/nocturnal cycle that seems endless. Problem is...I am not tired... and if I tried to sleep, my mind would just oscillate like a pendulum and I would never fall asleep.... AYOOOOO...never ending....

I talked to someone on the phone earlier today, and we were talking about turning 23. He was happy about this new transition, because he wasn't happy with his 22nd...!! If you read this...I think you should be proud of yourself ! Life will always throw rocks at you, it's really up to you to make something out of those rocks ( you watched "Lost" instead of studying for nutrition, so you should know some survival skills lol).... Point being....Make something out of the rocks... perhaps a boat to take you to the Caribbean...you know....med school? hahah kidding . What I did fail to mention...is that according to fob persian calender I was born on the 23rd...so um... I'm HOPING this will be a better year. Not that its starting in any particular way or anything.