Essentials of Happiness

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

- Allan K. Chalmers

Credo

"Live fully, love deeply, let go with no bitterness." 

Paulo Coelho

Imperturbable

Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements ... even if it leads nowhere...

Permutation

I was recently reunited with an old friend of mine.
I remembered him as a sweet, smart, and shy guy who used to walk with me home almost everyday from school. He was kind, caring and had the most beautiful blue eyes.
I expected our first time meeting after 10 years to be awkward ... but it was far from that. We spoke for hours. He was still kind, caring and I couldn't help but drown in his blue eyes.

It turned out, that although we grew up only a few blocks away from each other, we had disparate teenage years. It was as if we each grew in our own distinctive bubbles, unaware of each other's surroundings. I had grown up in a safer, more conservative bubble; whereas he grew up in a precarious, vicious and barbed bubble. Yes imagine that, a barbed bubble. A volatile, virulent, and verboten bubble. Most of the stories he shared, scarred and traumatized me. I couldn't believe that anyone would be capable of leading such an anomalous life- specially someone I knew !
After sharing many of his life experiences, he assured me that he had changed- for the better. I was under the impression that he had learned his lessonS !! (plural !!!!) Perhaps he was being equivocal, or perhaps I'm easily deceived. Or maybe, just maybe... he really meant it.

I believe in the axiom (well my own made up axiom), that people are capable of change; therefore when he asserted that he had changed- I believed him.

Unfortunately, a situation came up... where I got involved (in a very minute way). The situation proved that he had not changed.... I was (and still am) so disappointed.
I tried talking to him, begging him to change. We are still young, and we have the time and resources to change. I realize that it is an arduous task to change when a certain life style has become habitual. BUT, his barbed bubble has proven to be VOLATILE, VIRULENT, and VERBOTEN ... OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. How many times does a person need to hit a dead end, in order to realize that the path he was taking would NOT get him out of the maze, and a new path is required???????

The situation was somewhat ... despicable. Truth be told, I was frightened- mainly because I was in an unorthodox predicament, and I didn't have any intrinsic or extraneous knowledge of what to do, or even how to feel. Consequently, I may have acted discourteous towards him. And for that... I'm sorry.

Are people capable of change?
I STILL believe that they are. If need be, please read my entry on change:

http://searching-for-tranquility.blogspot.com/2010/08/change.html

Can my friend change? YES HE CAN ! I see the potential in him. I KNOW he can change. It will be an extremely difficult task, but if he truly wanted to, he can. Perhaps he will need to leave the city, perhaps he may have to start from scratch- nevertheless, it will be better than where he is now.

If you are reading this, please know that there are people who care. Surround yourself with positive and influential people. Try to live a simple, humble life, unaffected by ... well.. you know...
Taking the first step, will be exhausting, but don't give up. I promise you will get somewhere better.
I will help you, I'm sure others will too. But you have to HELP yourself.
You can achieve anything !!! You are capable !!! Your current lifestyle, is destructive and will not end well. It will take some perseverance ... but it will be worth it at the end. You deserve a calm and happy life. You deserve a tranquil life. Please set goals and achieve them. You are capable.
It may be easy to continue what you are doing, and dig an even deeper hole. But I promise you, that in this case, grass IS greener on the other side. Hop over.

I hope you move on and never look back. Determination WILL get you through this. You must make some firm, lucid goals, and work as hard as you can to achieve them. TRYING will not be good enough. You must achieve. 

Please be good to yourself. Be the best that you can be. 

Succinct

I haven't blogged in a while, and if I have, they have been mainly pictures or quotes, and not words of my own- mainly because I'm Speechless. 
I hear, but I cannot respond. I see, but I cannot verbalize. I feel, but I cannot express. 


Mother Teresa's outlook on silence:


"Listen in silence because if your heart is full of other things you cannot hear the voice of God. But when you have listened to the voice of God in the stillness of your heart, then your heart is filled with God."


"Silence of the heart is necessary so you can hear God everywhere — in the closing of a door, in the person who needs you, in the birds that sing, in the flowers, in the animals."


To make possible true inner silence, practice:

Silence of the eyes, by seeking always the beauty and goodness of God everywhere, and closing them to the faults of others and to all that is sinful and disturbing to the soul.

Silence of the ears, by listening always to the voice of God and to the cry of the poor and the needy, and closing them to all other voices that come from fallen human nature, such as gossip, tale bearing, and uncharitable words.

Silence of the tongue, by praising God and speaking the life-giving Word of God that is the truth, that enlightens and inspires, brings peace, hope, and joy; and by refraining from self-defense and every word that causes darkness, turmoil, pain, and death.

Silence of the mind, by opening it to the truth and knowledge of God in prayer and contemplation, like Mary who pondered the marvels of the Lord in her heart, and by closing it to all untruths, distractions, destructive thoughts, rash judgments, false suspicions of others, vengeful thoughts, and desires.

Silence of the heart, by loving God with our heart, soul, mind, and strength; loving one another as God loves; and avoiding all selfishness, hatred, envy, jealousy, and greed.

You have the power !

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul. 

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Written by Max Ehrmann